Another year, another chances.

Goodbye 2018

Welcome 2019

What should I say about 2018? Special? Nothing special? Or it just average things?

I know, people don’t have same experiences in their life. If they involve in same situations, they will see those situations in many views. Like I do. Maybe, people saw 2018 was an awesome year or just an awful year. Whatever they want to see, they will see. But I saw that year in differently.

For me, 2018 was upside down moment. There was a time when I feel so optimist, but there was a time when I feel so pessimist. Like roller coaster. I found somethings, but I lost too.

I was over the moon about a relationship, but sometimes I fell down and crashed the earth so hard.  I expected too much, but other side I felt so hopeless. For several times, I blame myself because extremely excited, instead of keep silent and wait until everything is illuminated.

Nor different with what I do. I stand between two path and try to make best decision for my future. I choose one and I thought it was best decision for me. I know, most people felt sorry because the path that I chose. So pity because I threw away an opportunity in front of my face. But, I tried to convince myself that my choice was right and I didn’t live in their life. I live with my dreams, not people dreams.

Between roller-coaster and confusion choice, I lost my father—a moment when I thought it was a climax because it happened in the end of the year, a moment when I thought that age never make you farther away from death, and a moment when I thought that life is so unpredictable. Yeah, I was a little bit lost and hopeless.

But, you know, I have to smile. Not easy to smile, actually. I need time to put big smile on my face and put away the lost feeling. Sounds desperately?

Well, actually, I don’t want to become desperate person although the situation a little bit tough. I’m still looking forward to beautiful moment in next years. And I really hope that 2019 and the years after will be my best years.

Let's hope in this 2019 with good prayers :)